Klez Act

Story and Dance for a New Jewish Tradition
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Text by Jacob Bloom
Web site design, editing, code by Rachael Stark
Photography, image editing by Chris Cirker
A Klez Act web site
Rachael Stark © 1999
Songs by Jacob Bloom
Your doctor might tell you to lose weight and diet
And go out and jog every morning at five
And you might attempt to get out there and try it
And find yourself feeling just barely alive
Come over to my place, this jogging alone
On those dangerous streets cannot be very smart
And we'll go out walking tonight in the moonlight
Your doctor will tell you it's good for the heart
Your doctor will say that you shouldn't eat sugar
Or French fries, or hot dogs, or barbecued steak
Or fried eggs, or bacon, or freshly brewed coffee
Or three-layer fudge-frosted chocolate nut cake
Come over to my place, I'll put on some music
And pull out my cookbook and calorie chart
I'll make a low-calorie, candlelight dinner
Your doctor will tell you it's good for the heart
If your blood pressure's high, your doctor will tell you
To try to relax, and to minimize stress
There's a medical need to get rid of the tensions
That come when you struggle too hard for success
Come over to my place, I'll give you a backrub
In my eyes you've been a success from the start
I'll hold you and tell you just how much I love you
Your doctor will tell you it's good for the heart
A parody of "How Can I Keep From Singing"
The long-awaited Summer comes
Cold Winter's compensation
And yet, if the whole truth be told
There's one small irritation
For in the pond behind the house
Mosquito eggs are hatching
And when in time they start to bite
How can I keep from scratching.
What though I swat with open hand
I hear a buzzzzzzzzzz - it liveth.
What though I use that bug spray can
Bites in the night it giveth.
And after all, it matters not
If one or two I'm catching
For while I do, ten more will bite.
How can I keep from scratching.
I'll grit my teeth, and for a time
My skin I will be patching.
Yet, though I bathe in calamine,
How can I keep from scratching.
I'll put an end to my complaint.
I'll smile and stop my bitching.
Yet, must I suffer like a saint?
How can I keep from - scritching.
Need a silly or serious song written for a wedding, anniversary, holiday, Bat Mitzvah, Bar Mitzvah or any special event? Contact Jacob Bloom at jacob@aklezact.com
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Rachael Stark © 1999 All rights reserved
Contact A Klez Act at jacob@aklezact.com